inspiring newness

I long to live in a place where internet is no necessity..a place where the hurting person to my left or right takes priority over technology.. a place where I can spend hours with God loving on Him and becoming the woman I long to be. As much as my heart longs to go to a third world country and endulge in this environment, I have come to realize that this place is here as well…waiting for me to notice it. A beautiful world outside longing to be discovered. A little girl inside eagerly waiting to escape. An outstanding God who is full of a peace and fulfillment most people miss because they never realize the discovery awaiting them.This place exists with me,within you, within anyone willing to create it.

This new year coming up will be a year of newness. I refuse to let another year pass me by as I live in my selfishness. Instead of,"What do I want to do today?" it will be a," What does this person need from me today." My passion will be for people and to help the ones I love become all they can be, no matter how much older or younger…I will not stand silent. I will not stand by and watch the enemy destroy the lives of the ones I love. I will not judge, nor will I condemn. I will see the good in my neighbor and the plank in my own eye. I will be open. I will love, i will love, i will love.

I will stand tall and engage in the wonderful God who loves me despite all my weakness. A God who provides the strengths I need.. only need I ask for help and truly try to change. No longer will I be needy and whine when lifes circumstances seem to "not be what I need right now." I will be patient and look at the truth to every situation.

I will be all these things and so much more only by the grace and help of my God. I might mess up and get it wrong sometimes but no longer will that keep me from continuing on towards the purity and righteousness my Father longs for me to achieve.

This and so much more is what I long for me and everyone I know..not only in 2012 but in every single remaining year of my life. The true and only fulfilling source of happiness and joy comes from Him. Stop running and accept. I believe in this new year and I believe in my God. Agreeing for all the ones who cant agree for themselves!

Seeing through spiritual eyes

It all started on a hot day in August after sprinting to catch the tiger transit(Auburn University's bus system) with Anna....looking up to see a wrinkly old face shining a smile in my direction...love. Ever since that day I have been in love with the sweet spirit of my 80 yr.(give or take some) bus driver. He never delays his goodbyes or ceases to continue to do so after the 100th time he has said it throughout the day. Never is there a smile not returning back to me as I leave or enter the bus. And, never is there an annoyed face waiting for me after I have made the whole bus wait as I run to catch the bus before it leaves the neighborhood.

      Today however,  I noticed the absence of a wedding ring. And, I couldn't seem to understand why this sweet old man was not wearing one. Could his wife have died along the way of their long journey together. Or could he have been one that got overlooked in his younger years because he didn't own a pair of costas or wear rainbows, everyday of his life, unless it was raining when the sperrys came out... Even though he had the best and sweetest personality out of anyone that had a date every weekend because of a high status and expensive clothes.

  I know that could very well not be the case but it got me thinking. I then began to realize how blessed I am to not have that mindset. That I can look at someone and find beauty in that person..no matter how they dress/look/speak/think/ or feel. Every human is unique and different in their own way. And, just as well, every human is alike in the sense that we were made by the Creator of all things who makes us in His image. Looking at it in this perspective it should almost be impossible to  not only see the ugliness in someone. Looking past peoples barriers and outside appearance is where the true beauty lies. We may never know what some people are going through or have gone through over the course of their life, but we can be the ones to look them in the eyes and realize a hug is just what they need at this point in their life or a true, "You are beautiful and I think you are wonderful".

     Once this mind-set is accomplished life is seen through different eyes. People are differently seen. And, its not just the regular ,"Man, they get on my nerves." But, its the,"God made this person and loves them beyond my comprehension and I think they are amazing." Not saying that people won't annoy you or make you mad...but its a lot less likely and when happening, realizing a step away is all that is needed to see the wider and larger view. So, instead of getting annoyed when I'm late because I was driven to class at 20mph, I take that step back and realize he is just enjoying the beautiful day outside, no hurries and no worries, and then I too, try and do the same.

Letting Life pour back into your body

"Sometimes praise comes face to the ground, unable to move because we are so aware that this Holy God has busied Himself with bringing us back to Him.

Let it flow like blood to sleeping limbs, and feel them tingle as they awake in awe.

Shake life back into your hands and let them clap for His goodness.

Shake life back into your legs and let them carry you running with wind and thunder.

Shake life back into your chest and let your heart beat in pounding reverence.

Let praise come face to the ground, trembling with LIFE and AWARENESS that we are found by a HOLY GOD."- David Crowder, Praise Habit

Whenever you feel lifeless like you are laying face down on the ground, trying so hard to catch your breath...as if every moment to live is a struggle, let this be your anthem. Embrace the ground. Don't be fooled to think it is too low to be found and touched by God. It is a mind battle. Make up your mind that you do in fact want God to come to your rescue. Then believe it. Life is hard. He knows this. That is why we can go to Him, with every breath, when everything else seems to fall apart little by little. 

The heaviness of day to day life

After hearing a message by kris Vallotton yesterday, my heart carried a heaviness  to it. This heaviness had nothing to do with me. It was the heaviness of the world around  me and the people I love who feel it on a day to day basis. One cry of my heart is to carry a compassion inside of me for the hurting, just like our Savior does. And, after this message, my hearts c ry came alive. I always try and see the potential inside each and every human being instead of who they are at the moment. 

Why do we act so differently as we grow up. As kids we were so excited and free!  But then, we do something wrong. And time after time of doing so we begin to dislike ourself. And we put on all this heavy clothing that holds us back when we were made to feel free. Throughout our life we are never told that the person who falls in the biggest hole finds the most Gold. Don't believe in your circumstances more than you believe in the power if God.

Examples: 1. Rahab- the lying prostitute. She lies to the King-Josh 2:1, she hides spies, saves her family. And then where do we see her next? In Matthew 1:1 in the lineage of Christ!

2. David- He was a King, a fugitive, a murderer, a liar, an adulterer. Yet, look at how God viewed David. He moved Gods heart. As David Crowder says in his book Praise Habit, " Davids awareness of rescue was deep and continual. He dressed himself in rescue, redemption, and righteousness.  There is impoliteness in our experience of living. There is darkness and pain. But, the wonder, joy and surprise comes in the middle of darkness with the unexpected presence of God."

In part Kris' message he talked about the difference in conviction and condemnation. Condemnation= not of Christ. He did not come to condemn us, He came to offer us a hope out of our sinful life. Condemnation links our sin to our identity. With condemnation you begin to believe that since you sinned, you are now a sinner. NO! Wrong. Completely wrong. If you believe you are a sinner you will sin because you believe that is who you are. Thats the beauty of what Jesus did and when He steps into the picture. Our sin is not our identity. It is not who we are. He knows we are going to mess up even after we are saved. He offers us a life that says," I WAS a sinner. And, even though I still might mess up every now and then, I am still precious in His eyes."  We have got to understand this to function properly in who we are. We need to live with conviction not condemnation. Just like Kris said yesterday, "Conviction says, "You are a royalty now, come on, you are better than this. Lets fix it :)" We need to realize that just because we mess up, that does not mean we are worse than dirt.

Quit living by your feelings! It will destroy you! QUIT LIVING BY YOUR FEELINGS AND LIVE BY THE TRUTH. The way you treat yourself is the way others will treat you. Change your mindset about yourself. Realize you are awesome and other people will begin to see the change. 

I think this is what separates us from responding to God like we wished we could. We come to God with our head down and ashamed. And, the whole time he is saying, "Stop it! You are acting like the price I paid isn't good enough for you! Come to me. I am so in love with you child. Yes you messed up, but I still love you just as much!"

Past friendship

   In the midst of times like these, words are hard to come by. The majority of people here are completely and totally submerged into an intimate relationship with Jesus. Often times when people receive salvation they become acquaintances with God. As with every process, continuation usually needs to happen in order for the process to be maintained. So as the relationship continues, the word acquaintance cannot adequately express the extent of this new found relationship. A friendship usually is next. However, the friendship part of the process is where people get stuck. Maybe its because people do not know that there is so much more to God...or maybe they do and there is a lack of commitment to proceed on past the friendship and into an intimate relationship. 

   Before leaving for California to go to Bethel I heard a lot of, "Well, God is here just as much as He is there". And, while that statement is true, there is still a MAJOR difference in the atmosphere created here at Bethel. The difference lies in the relationship level the people here and (other places Im sure) strive for. You see, a friendship is NOT good enough, nor will it satisfy the intense hunger for more of God. They are so incredibly hungry for a deeper relationship with God. They have felt His love and everyday they need more to survive. God is a survival factor. We need to become so dependent on God that if we dont spend time with Him we feel as though we are dying.

   Since I have been here I feel like my love for God has grown so intensely just by being in His presence and around people who are on fire for God. Just like a wildfire spreads without question, so should Gods love in the hearts and souls of people.

   Let us cry out for more. Let us learn and continue to grow in this process. How about busting through the friendship and into the intimate relationship where we know and feel His heart. As with any relationship, the only way to do so is to spend time with Him.

   I can honestly say I have not been so great with my relationship with God...arent we glad he offers grace?! As each day passes I realize how messed up I am. THere are so many things in my life that need changing and fixing. And, God bought me a long time ago so that He could be the one to fix me and transform me and bring me into the beautiful thing called righteousness.

Worship School in California

Just a few weeks ago I found out that I have been accepted to Bethel's Supernatural School of Worship in Redding, Cali., this summer. As excitement rushed over me, a sense of helplessness did as well. You see, worshipping is my passion. God created us for this purpose, and I long to learn more about every aspect of it. One day I hope to be a worship pastor somewhere and use what I learn this summer. Classes will be hard and a lot of effort will be required, but I know that I will be able to use everything I learn towards my passion, and even though I know my God will provide, the part of asking for help bothers me. I do not want people to think I am trying to free load. So with that statement made known, I will prove my heart is true.

     Currently, I am in nursing school, and nursing school is...well...unique, haha! It is very hard and demanding. However, I still take the time to work as much as I can. I personally do not like the idea of having to pay back student loans. Therefore, I am paying for every penny of my school with the money I earn. My car has just recently died (R.I.P.), but that is a whole issue in itself haha!

     With all of that said, the point of this note is this: help is needed. I do not dwell in this situation with helplessness any more. I believe and hope in my God to provide the means necessary to make this opportunity available for me. Romans 5:5 says, "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." I am going to rest in the fact that He has this situation all under control...and what a relief that is!

     Expenses are going to be great; because, as you all know, California is not that close to Phenix City, AL. Any contribution you would like to make would be absolutely amazing and appreciated. If you need your lawn mowed, call me. If you need your car washed, I'll be there. Anything! If you find your resources are limited, prayer is always needed.

                                                    Hosea 2:14-15

 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt." In Hebrew, "Achor" means trouble. I feel as though that is exactly where I have been in these past few months. Family craziness going on every day, seeing a murder take place and helping to contribute the aid needed to the helpless, my car dying completely, and experiencing grief so unexpectedly and real, as I lost a man so very dear to my heart. But, I feel that God is leading me into the door of hope. He holds me in His hands, and there is no other place I would rather be. Safe.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and allowing the Lord to use you in any way that you can be used! :)

Broken to Perfection

 While sitting in a youth service a few weeks ago, Jesus began to speak to my heart. I won't go into all the details of the message. But, I will say the main point I got out of the message was the illustration used with eggs. Hard, raw, white, unbroken eggs. At the beginning of the service everyone received an egg to hold throughout the service. Rapping up the message, Pastor Jodi said something along the lines of this, " Every single one of these eggs has a different purpose. This eggs purpose may be to make an omelet." At this point the teenagers started to giggle. But the actual point that was being spoken made sense. She continued with,'" No I'm serious. Maybe you are an omelet. You hold everything together when otherwise it would fall apart. And maybe, this other egg's purpose is to make a cake. You make things sweet and bring joy to everyone around you." She continued on with the different purposes each egg might have. She brought into play that we too are each designed for a different purpose. I have always known this. But, what God brought into perspective was something different.

    From the naked eye my egg looked smooth and perfect just like all the other eggs. But, with further inspection I noticed its imperfection. As I was sitting there holding my egg, I felt a lump on its hard shell. I ran my finger over the lump several times then began to think to myself," There is no way this lump can be smoothed out for this egg unless.. it is broken. No matter how hard I try to smooth out this lump, its hard shell will not allow it. The shell must be broken and put back together to be perfected." Now I know what you're thinking... you cant break a shell and put it back together again to perfection. To which I will reply..you are right. But! This is an analogy.  An analogy to which I will relate to God.

    Oftentimes we may be that egg with a lump. Whatever it may be...jealously, anger, sadness, loneliness, confusion, stagnation, etc. But, not everybody can see that we have it. Just know that the only way to perfection in Christ is through brokenness. Even though we as humans would not be able to put back the pieces of a broken egg, God has the power to do all things. When we are broken, God is able to take all the pieces and put them back together again. He knows each broken piece and where it should go to create an amazingly restored child of God.

    If you feel as though you are being broken, do not dwell in the feelings of sadness or confusion. It is in the brokenness that we become whole. It is in the brokenness that we become stronger and greater. And through the brokenness we are able to begin our purpose. Just as an egg shell is broken to create an amazingly tasteful cake or omelet we too must be broken.

South Africa

I wrote this while I was in South Africa but never posted it...so enjoy!

Entering into a world unknown, I was bursting with excitement from anticipation. Always picturing myself in Africa surrounded by the helpless, in a place of desolation, I felt guilty flying 19 hours to reach this country knowing that was not my final destination.Desiring to at least get a glimpse of the reality of Africa and the pain this country suffers daily, my eyes were willing, but my heart not ready for the agony it would soon experience. It did not take me long to figure out that just because it is South Africa, and not Swaziland or Botswana, does not mean there is no one suffering and the needy are not present. 

My itinerary was suppose to go as follows: 9 hour flight to the Netherlands, 2 hour layover, and an 11 hour flight from the Netherlands to South Africa. My itinerary ended up being as follows: 9 hour fight to the Netherlands, 8 hour layover, 1 hour flight to Paris, 4 hour layover, and then FINALLY..the 11 hour flight to South Africa. WHy you may ask....An emergency landing was needed for a little boy with stomach obstruction. So, we turned the plane around and 1 hour after flying in the opposite direction of our destination, we land in Vancouver,Canada. God was pulling at my heart the entire time to pray for the little 4 year old boy. So, finally I stepped out in faith. Knowing I wouldn't regret it, I nervously walked over to the worried family from Uganda and asked if I could pray for him. To me, this was huge.. The first time I had ever bravely stepped out and prayed for a stranger. His crying increased as I began to pray and I thought Oh great...I wonder what this family is thinking. Which should not matter..but anyway...eventually his crying died down. Was he healed instantly? No, it was one of those things where you plant the seed and have faith for the harvester.I believe that Jesus healed that little boy. I believe that as soon as he got to the hospital the doctors found nothing. But more than that, I believe that was the first step for me walking in fearlessness.  

Sometimes in life we pray for things and nothing happens.( that WE see at least) And, sadly, even more times, that means we  give up.We give up in perseverance. We give up in hope. We give up in believing. Whether it be for someone dear to us to change and live their life on the RIGHT path. Or, maybe we are praying for something in our own life to change. Whatever it is, we can't give up. We CANNOT give up. Whether it is seen in the natural world or not, things are happening. As soon as those prayers are lifted up, Heaven gets busy... Whether we are the planter or the harvester, we must continue in faith, knowing things are being done, whether we see it or not. 

Maybe this was the reason I couldn't get the 4 other flights I tried to get for days. Maybe those prayers were the only ones that little boy would have. All I know is, the extra 24 hours it took to get to South Africa was COMPLETELY worth it for this short 10 minute experience. And plus, I got to go to Paris!...where I ended up getting lost and stepping into Paris without even going through immigration or customs...hmm...oh and not to mention the airport in the netherlands was incredible!! It had a huge place with recliners to sleep and a mediation center and tons of other really cool stuff!.... When we were finally on our way to South Africa I was in the aisle seat,sadly. However! The girl with the window seat asked if I would want to switch and I smiled,said a huge thank you to Jesus, and quickly accepted her request! At the end of the flight I noticed the African woman sitting next to me trying to read my Heidi Baker book with me, Compelled by Love. With an occasional head nod, I noticed her interest. I gave her the book and believed God would use it in not only her life, but her family's life and even her communities life in a tremendous way! 

Then...South Africa! After making my way through the airport, there they were...waiting and very excited! The kids jumped over the divider to run and hug me..welcomed with love.

Going Forward by overcoming

On my way back to Auburn I noticed a really big hill. Countless times I have driven up this hill and yet today I just realized its intensity. Or maybe for a brief moment God intensified the extent of this hill in order to reveal to me this lesson..

Through life often times we feel like we are going up this gigantic hill. We can't see what the tops view reveals and whats in store on the other side or even if it will be worth the strength to make it to the top.What happens if we don't make it? What happens if we do? What happens if we get to the top and realize we have been climbing up a small anthill the whole time.The beauty in life is its unpredictability. Never knowing what the next moment in life will hold or release, is part of the ride. Life brings pain, its inevitable. I know I have had to travel up many big hills. Many unpredictable, strenuous, painful hills. And, just when I felt as though I was running out of gas, my Savior pulled, pushed, and gave me the physical,mental, and spiritual strength I needed to succeed.

If we rely solely upon ourselves, small anthills will be a challenge. But as long as we depend on His strength, the biggest mountains in our life will even be conquerable! Sometimes we do not realize that He sends us people in our lives as well,to go with us on the journey to overcoming our weaknesses,our mountains. We were not created to do everything on our own. Vulnerability is scary at first. But, once you realize that weakness is beautiful, that scariness starts to fade. Everyone is going through something in their life. Whether it is right now, in the past, or the future..and, no matter how much we pretend like we have it all together, we don't. Nobody does. If we strive to become who God wants us to be, and seek after overcoming our struggles, weakness becomes beautiful. He will take you, who are burdened and heavy laden, and will give you rest. No one is perfect. NO ONE! Only our Daddy in Heaven who sets the perfect example for us to follow.... And, no one can do it on their own.

I guess the point of this note is to be bold. When you feel like you are struggling with getting to the top of your mountain, call on Jesus. He will help. And, chances are, there is also at least one person in your life who would like to do the same for you. Don't be afraid. It's surprising the response you may get once you ask for some advice or help..or even prayer. If nobody knows you need it, nobody can help you get through it. We are all human. And, we are all trying to imitate our Father. So, be bold. Ask that person in your life, whom you can trust, to help you overcome your mountain... in the end, you might just realize it was just a small anthill.

New beginnings? Fresh starts? Back to the basics...

If you get nothing out of this note at least read the last few paragraphs.."Begin...start...commence...open... There's something refreshing and optimistic about these words, whether they refer to the dawn of the day, the birth of a child, the prelude of a symphony, or the first miles of a family vacation. FREE OF PROBLEMS AND FULL OF PROMISE, beginnings stir hope and imaginative visions for the future."

   As a prelude to my study Bible, this quote is referring to the book of Genesis. The book of Genesis starts out with a beautiful pure world being created by a Holy God. Genesis, "reveals the person and nature of God( Creator, Sustainer, Judge, Redeemer); the value and dignity of human beings(made in the God's image,saved by grace, used by God in the world); the tragedy and consequences of sin (the fall, separation from God, judgment); and the promise and assurance of salvation (covenant,forgiveness, promised Messiah)."

Genesis. The beginning. Free of pain, free of sin(well at least in the beginning). However, it was not free of temptation.  The whole point of creation was to build a beautiful place with beautiful people to be able to share in the fellowship and  Holiness of God..with CHOICE. Bathed in innocence, creation was shattered by the fall.This note is that of a lead towards a redemption that is easily obtained.

With Easter just passing, God was showing  me how He wants to bring us all back to that place. He wants to all takes us back to the Genesis in our lives before the fall from temptation led us spiraling downward. Maybe you don't remember what it was that took you away from the purity in your heart, and maybe there has been a situation in your life that you think you will never be free of. But, whatever the case may be there is a God that wants to allure you unto Him. He wants to lead us tenderly into the desert and give us back our most prized possession, and here he will turn what meant for death into a beautiful life everlasting. Here we will sing and rejoice just as we did before our lifeless days- Hosea 2:15 paraphrased. 

Gods longing is to take us back into the place in our life where we were once proud of ourself. The place that held no guilt or shame. The place that echoed back His love into the world so that the lost and the dying could see a glimpse of life. The place where we ourself felt life. A place full of happiness, love and compassion. His desire is for ALL of His children to find this escape from life's hard reality to a place where nothing can shake off His joy!

His death was meant to cover our shame and sin and bring us back to our Genesis! Every person has their own Genesis, their own fresh beginning. At some point we all become someone we hate. Maybe you remember yourself as a child so free and happy and full of the love God placed in you. God can renew you and bring you back to that place of innocence. Maybe you find that your heart has hardened to the point of being compassionless for people. God can turn your heart into complete mush to where it breaks over those that are hurting, no matter who it may be. Maybe you find that no matter how hard you try you cant seem to ever be enough. God can show you that he created you with the perfect intention of using you! And He will!

Do some soul searching. Find out where you were before the fall and give it all up to your Father.He will take you above and beyond what you ever thought you could be. When you find yourself surrounded in the new Genesis beware of the temptations, for they will still come. But with God, everything is conquerable. Genesis 4:7 "For if you do right will you not be accepted? But if you do not do right sin is crouching at your door and its desire is to have you, but you must master it."We are all good people, we just lose our way and our hearts harden to the love our God is so desperately waiting to give away.

"Come now, let us reason together,says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool." Isaiah 1:18. Stop making it harder than it has to be.

In the midst..

Our Father knows when we will breathe our last. He knows our hearts,our desires, and our weaknesses. He knows what still lays on the line and what needs to be accomplished spiritually before our time comes. He will reach out to us with the urgency of preparation. It is just a matter of who is listening, a matter of how long it takes to hear.

For my Uncle Charlie, it took his whole life to be able to listen. He knew and he heard, but never quite listened to that which he was hearing. But, just a few months before his death (or should I said his rebirth into life in its most extravagant form), on April10,2011, he actually heard AND listened. He was faced with a situation that reminded him of how he had lived his life and the hurt others may have felt because of it. He was able to come to grips with his walk with God and smooth out all the imperfections. Looking at his life, he gave all his failures to God. He picked up this newly found love given to him by our Savior and he ran with it.

We all prayed for healing in his body. Even someone on life support can be healed with one word from our Fathers mouth. If my uncle was suppose to be healed, he would have been. No doubt about it. We experienced another family losing their loved one as we waiting in the CCU waiting room. The first thing we expressed to them was love. Without words, we simply loved. We hugged and we cried with the hurting. Sometimes all we need is that kind of love. Not a love that looks at you for what you have done or who you are. But Gods kind of love that looks at who you CAN be. He sees the potential in all of us and will not stop loving.

In the midst of this incredibly hard time God has reached out with that love. In fact I feel as though he has used this hard time and strengthened me. Do I feel as though that place in my heart that my uncle CHarlie held has been filled? No. He was a father to me. But, I do know that with time, all things will heal. God has blessed me with the most amazing family and friends. I am at a lost for words when it comes to expressing my thanks for all the thoughtfulness that has been shown.

Experiencing the death of a loved one could be one of the hardest realities I have ever had to face. Not only did my Uncle have his heart attack that Wed., but I also found myself hurrying down the stairs at our school to help with providing aid to the wounded. Im sure I am not the only one who can say they never thought they would be placed in a situation as this. Placed. I feel as though God had me at school as the shooting took place. Not only was I able to provide aid to the wounded, but I was able to see how strong one can be with the help of the Lord. Was it hard looking into the eyes of a woman and seeing lifelessness? Yes. Extremely.

I feel as though I have been surrounded with death these last few weeks. And, in a sense I have been. But, I learned that no matter the situation, God is right there. In the midst of brokenness, HE is whole. In the midst of sadness, HE is joy. In the midst of exhaustion, HE is the energy we need. He is everything we need to be completed and brought into perfection; and, it is NEVER to late to achieve it. Just as my uncle did 2 months before his passing, we too can achieve that which we have longed for our entire life.

I say all that to say this, life is incredibly short. God's word and the love of our Savior is way too extravagant to be keep to ourself. People around us are dying everyday. Evaluate your life and who you are and who you can be. Dont look at yourself in shame for all you've done. Look at yourself the way God looks at you. Spread the word. Share the love.

My uncles last note he wrote in his Bible was as follows," Constant prayer,keep praying until answer comes. The proud shall be humbled and the humbled shall be proud."

Our Proposal Story

Even though it was a little over 7 months ago, I am reminded of this life-changing story everyday I look at my hand. I realized I did not ever put this on my blog so I decided I would share...

Let our story unfold with my beautiful boyfriend ...wait wait wait... fiance. There we go : ) .....

♥Ethan Daniel Spivey called our Pastor last week sometime and told him his plans and hopes. With much excitement, a secret agreement was made that would end up taking place Sunday morning at Solid Rock, August 29th 2010...aka my 21st Birthday!! That morning Pastor Jay was preaching on "The One". Not necessarily "the one" and the only one that God has made for each person to share this life with, but it was able to be turned around for an awesome twist at the end of service! I kind of had a suspicion that it was going to happen that morning. But, when it didnt happen before church, or the "meet and greet" time, or after announcements I was beginning to wonder! I had to force myself to pay attention and listen to the amazing message over all my self-consuming thoughts. I mean they were driving me crazy with anticipation and wonder!

♥Once we were bringing all the names up to the altar of "the one" person in our life that we would interceed for and pray over, Pastor Jay said,"Once you have brought the card up and layed it on the altar, please return back to your seats and remain standing for one last announcement." Finally!! I knew it had to be it! Thump thump. Thump thump thumpthumpthumpthump!! My heart was going crazy! Ethan kept such a good straight face though! Once everyone was back in their seats, Pastor Jay said, " Well, we have someone here who wants to share their testimony about HOW they FOUND their ONE. Ethan Spivey would you please come up"........... Frantically reaching for my purse trying to get my camera out......nervously listening....heart melting.......so many things happening....life changing. Once Ethan was on the stage..in front of at least 300 people...he uttered the sweetest words I have ever heard any man speak...except Jesus of course. And, I'm sure every woman who has gotten engaged would argue that their significant others words were sweeter..but these words were the sweetest words to me..and were spoken straight to me!..straight to my soul.These words were as follows.. "One of the amazing things about God is that I didn't have to search for my one, instead He brought her to me. And I knew from the first time I saw her that I was going to pursue after her with all of my heart.And, I've been waiting a long time for this day. Elizabeth Wright, would you please join me on this stage?" With my hands shaking, a heart about to beat out of my chest, and trembling knees, I made my way as best I could up to that stage where the rest of my life awaited me. Barely able to utter the "Will you marry me"..Ethan got down on one knee and looked at me with his watery brown eyes. And, in those watery brown eyes, I saw assurance. I saw a deep love and peace. I saw Jesus, commitment, and excitement.I saw.... the rest of my life! The rest was kind of a blur. I think I said yes? haha! All I remember is jumping up and hugging him : ) Making it the best birthday I have EVER had!! And the rest is History!

...tonight I was asking Ethan about it and..well...he said I grabbed the ring out of the box before he could get the chance to put the ring on my finger...guess I was too excited. haha

♥ Thank you ALL for all your encouragements,advice, support, and congratulations so far! It really means ALOT to us! Just like it says in Matthew, "Out of the abundace of the heart the mouth speaks" Let me end with the famous passage of 1Corinthians 13:4-8. Don't just read it without digestion. Read each sentence and think about what it truly means, letting it speak to your heart.

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1Cr 13:8 LOVE NEVER FAILS.

♥ Everyones prayers are greatly appreciated. We dream to speak to the mountains and expect their movement. We dream to reach out to this world with love, forgiveness and hope. From the words of Ethan, "It is our goal to respect the traditions of the church and, with creativity, transform the traditional evangelical methods to reach this modern culture. Just as Jesus showed us, we have to meet the people where they are.First, I believe that we are to love all people, whether they feel unlovable or undeserving of love. Secondly, we are to forgive all people, showing forgiveness whether they feel unforgivable or are unable themselves to forgive. Finally, we are to have hope in those who have lost all hope in themselves, and most importantly, to direct them towards God’s endless love, forgiveness, and hope for the future."

♥We love you all. Thank you so much for making this incredible time! There will be video up soon hopefully!

The simple greatness of a moment

As I was looking through some of my old writings, I found this from a few years ago..and with this current state of rain I figured it appropriate..

Whenever there are days like today..days when the rain either makes you want to: one- run through the rain and escape the present state of reality or two- lie around and contemplate things,listening to the peaceful quiet sound that it brings to Earth. Well, at least those are two of the side effects that rain has on me ..

Anyway, as I am getting onto the tiger transit (absolutely drenched from the rain; already in that contemplative state) I begin to look for an empty seat. Luckily, there is one seat left, in the very back next to some girl on her cell phone just talking away, not even enjoying the wonder and greatness of the rain. Right before the bus was about to take off another girl came onto the bus. However, she was not as lucky as I-she would have to stand..the whole ride.

Minutes passed and a very generous guy got up and kindly offered her his dry seat. This simple moment almost brought me to tears. I really wanted to stand up and hug that guy. Not only because he was attractive, but because he, unlike any other self-absorbed guy on that bus just took one look at this average girl and did not think twice about her not having something as simple as a seat. But, this guy who could probably have any girl he wanted even if he were the biggest jerk in the world cared that this unknown average girl did not have a seat...and it mattered. And, it got me to thinking, why don't we all care about each other that way. No matter how average or strange. No matter how poor or rich. Just us being us...helping one another in need even if nothing comes in return.

Never Alone

Time spent being around people you can have fun with, people you can be yourself with, and people you feel you could cry with, are the most priceless moments in life. Feeling as though I had no one to turn to or to make these amazing moments with, after a while I felt I had no reason to look at life through colorful eyes, so I figured...why not turn to the only one who has been there for me through everything. Even when I, the one He loves, turns my back upon Him, He remains constant. Even through messing up, time and time again. Through sadness.Laughter. Bad days and good... Why not turn to my God who loves me and adores me. And, in doing so, I have been sent some amazing people and have not laughed more in my entire life,than I have in these past couple of days. And, for Him, I have to thank for that :)

He is our bull :)

This analogy may sound a little silly. But, it really spoke some truth into my life, so I thought I would share with the hopes of it doing the same for you :)

Today as I was driving home from work I passed the cow pasture on my rode. Just like Usual. However, this time memories from a couple years ago came flooding into my mind. Memories of a sunny day, an old friend, and carelessness. What did we do you may ask? Well, I'll tell you. One pretty day we were passing this cow pasture as usual, but this time, we decided we wanted to play with these cute little creatures. Mistake #1 they are not as friendly as they are cute. But, we did not know this. So, we climbed over the barbed wire fence and made our way over to the babies. The babies did not seem to even be bothered by us. The mothers seemed to be afraid but did not know what to do, while the bulls were ready to do whatever it took to protect their families.
While thinking about this I kind of felt like God was showing me how He is our bull. Big. Strong. Equipped and ready. And, He will do whatever it takes to protect us from anything that could harm us. The mother cows did not know what to do in the face of fear. They just stood there helpless. The babies had no idea. They just stood there clueless. Evil comes in many different ways. Sometime it creeps up on us and we don't have any idea it is right behind us, and sometimes it is staring us straight in the face and we don't know how to defeat it. Just like Psalm 3:6 says, " I will not fear the tens of thousands gathered against me on every side.. from the Lord comes my deliverance." That is when our bull kicks into action. Ready to do anything and everything to protect his family or his children, the bull will succeed. Our Father will succeed. Sometimes we are like the babies, we have no idea the extent to which our Father goes, to protect us. Thats why we need to thank our Father everyday! Thank Him for the things He is doing that we don't even know about. He will protect His children. He will protect His family. No matter the cost.

Power through Worship

Ever since I was a little girl I have been a colorful dreamer. From amazing dreams with Jesus to not so amazing nightmares. In detail I used to remember EVERYTHING.However, as of late, I have not been able to remember much of my dreams. Whether being random bits and pieces or nothing at all, my dreams seem to diminish from my memory as I wake up. Now, as you can imagine, this can be a little frustrating. I LOVE DREAMS,I WANT TO REMEMBER. And, Jesus knows that :) so..with that knowledge He allowed me to do so a couple nights ago. And, in doing so He taught me something,like always :) In my dream there was panic in the air. Surrounded by thousands of people I am trying to make a decision whether I would be safer going up the stairs of this huge building or down the stairs. A natural disaster is about to strike. The decision to go up is made and the stairs start moving as if they were an escalator.My room with all of my belongings are up so I quickly choose to go after them. As I am going up on these moving stairs, they change direction and begin to descend. As the stairs are taking me down, I hear a girl say," Why are you going down? I am going to be safe because I am going up." I tried to go up, even as I was going down I tried to make it go up. I was not in control. Nothing I tried worked. As I'm descending, the stairs end at the outside front of this gigantic building. People are praying. Crying out. I begin to feel uneasy about the coming of this catastrophe as I hear hundreds of people praying and crying out to... Allah.In the middle of them all there is a fountain on the ground and I feel the need to worship in the midst of it all. Being drawn towards the fountain,eyes closed,I raise my hands and begin to worship. I feel my feet reach the water and slowly I make my way through it. Feeling a reassuring peace wash over me, the water ends and I reach the other side. Opening my eyes I see clueless children among their praying parents. They come to me.And, we begin to dance. Laughing and playing and smiling we create a new atmosphere. The parents and grandparents and teenagers begin to cease in their worship to Allah as they begin to observe the freedom in their children,grandchildren, brothers and sisters. Silence sweeps this place with hope and joy filling it.

You see, even when it seems all odds are against you and you are the only one, God will prevail. Even in the least likely of instances He will make himself known. When hard times are presented and our first thought is that of selfishness, He will alter our course. No matter what we do and the decisions we make, He will change them to fit His plan. So we must worship! If we choose to worship through our fear, worship through our pain, our emptiness, our worries, worship through everything, every circumstance, every situation, He will provide us with the opportunity to fly high above all else. Soaring over it all. Worship brings the power to do the unspeakable, the unimaginable. Even in times when we want to go up where it will be safest, He may be calling us to go down. "Whom shall I fear. The Lord is my light and my salvation."Often times I think people get caught up in the image of how people will perceive their worship. When, in fact, we should be focused on how our King will perceive our worship. Humbly bowing down, offering everything, with the faith that it will be pleasing unto Him. Making Him smile. Making Him laugh. Making Him love us ever more. Because, nothing blesses Him more than a self-sacrificing worship. He waits to spend time with you all day long. Constantly calling. Longing for your time and your love. Cherishing every second spent with you.

So, even in an overwhelming situation, worship. When everyone else is worshipping something else, you know what to do. Worship. Simply worship. Give it all. He just wants you to come and lay everything else down. All your worries, all your fears, all your hopes and dreams. Through your worship power is released. Centuries of traditional worship to false gods will break off of lives as they see your love. Darkness will tremble and light will come. Lives changed, rearanged"I have sworn by Myself, The word has gone forth from My mouth in righteousness And will not turn back, That to Me every knee will bow, every tongue will swear allegiance." Your worship not only blesses your King, but it also creates an atmosphere for change and for others to see the truth.

WHat if..

Lights begin to dim, 85,000+ people rise to their feet. Their hands in the air, screaming and yelling. The overall excitement expressed is far too much for even this gigantic dome. The music starts to fill my ears, when suddenly a man begins to make his way toward the stage. The excitement heightens as the anticipation grows.. Bono, a band member from U2 holds everyones full attention. Especially, the awe struck fan he will eventually pull up on stage, leaving everyone else with a sense of jealously, longing to be THAT person, in THAT moment. Waving his hands high in the air, swaying side to side. Immediately everyone mimics his every sway. Every word he sings is loudly echoed back. A sort of trance is created. A non-spoken trance. Where everyone is in their own little world. Just them and U2 engulfed by the music.
What if... just what if, by some chance, that many people got excited about their Daddy...you know the man who layed down His life for the opportunity of possessing your love. Your love. Picture it. 85,000+ people all hyped up in anticipation of their Savior showing up! Following His every move. His hand goes to the left, so ours follows. Then to the right . So in-sync. Hearing the beautiful words he sings, and singing together harmoniously with Him. Then, one by one being pulled up on stage. Dancing with the one who loves us more than we could ever fathom. And, we don't have to wait to be picked to be with him on the stage. Because, he wants to dance with us all! Not just the most excited one, or the loudest one who loves Him the most. HE wants the quiet one too, even the shy ones, and the ones who may not even love Him. He wants us all!
Can you imagine the impact? World changing. And, you don't even have to buy a ticket for him to show up. No big fancy stage needed. He will show up on the floor in your room, in the hospital, at a funeral, in your most stressful moment, in a crowded room, at a party, at work,anywhere. Get excited with anticipation of His arrival. He has a good show just waiting for your participation. Leading you in every move, every conversation, every situation. Just follow His lead. Leaving your failures, your past, your present, your future, your disappointments, your short-comings, your everything behind as you come to the dance floor of His healing and transforming love! He is waiting. Waiting for you to come in surrender and humility. Waiting to lift you up in His arms, away from all the pain and hurt. Waiting to look you in the eyes and let you feel His astounding unconditional love. Waiting for you.

Why do we even think WE have the choice?

Life as I know it is completely changing. The comfort zone of knowing my life's plan is fading away more and more each day. This is when the reliance on the One who will ALWAYS prove himself faithful comes in. There has to be that peace inside knowing that whatever path you take, trying to follow His exact plan for your life, whether you go to the left or the right, He will always be there guiding you. I don't know if everyone has this feeling of greater things inside them, but I do know I cannot settle for anything less. I do know I have a heart for the broken;a heart for the hurting. I can't just settle for a typical job helping to bring the level of comfort necessary in feeding the satisfaction of Western culture's security in a house, safe neighborhood, nice transportation, and a family with 2 kids and a dog. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that by any means. We as a nation need people who will be Jesus in the work place; who will be the light to those who desperately need Him. I just can't see myself doing anything else but talking about Him all day; worshipping Him all day; and walking miles to the un- reached; living not just among the poor, but with the poor. I want to see thousands saved, lives changed, the dead raised, and emotional healing.

Any desire I had for material possession is gone. The process in getting there was scary, and even hurt a little. But the end result is beautiful. If you want something I own, take it. If you like my dress,you can have it. For real, come go through my room. Every day I feel God guiding me. He does not just want an hour when all our friends are busy and we have nothing else to do. He wants our day. He wants our week. He wants our life. Even though I love living in Auburn with my best friends, I HAVE to do what I feel I am being lead toward. The mystery of God teaches us faith. Faith to believe what He has for me is greater than anything I think I would rather be doing, or anywhere I think I'd rather be living. Faith to know He WILL provide; everything WILL work out; and He has the perfect way of doing it. Friendships may die, people will get upset and most likely talk, and a lot of opposition will come, but there is a man named Jesus who has been there waiting for me every time I messed up and every time I broke His heart. And, He is the one I have to live for. He is the one I have to answer to; the one I have to surrender my whole being to. In the end "Greater is he"... So, what makes me think for even one second I have the choice in deciding my life and the path I take.

Beginners Letter

Needing an outlet for my passion towards writing, I decided to plug into LiveJournal. Not having any friends, I decided to plug into Blogspot, where I WILL have friends ..I hope. Friends that I can receive advice from, friends that I can grow with intellectually, friends to joke around and experience life with; even learning how to spell via spell check will be a plus. But,writing is not just something you do;it is something you express through feelings, encounters, thoughts, or beliefs. I'm not the best grammatical whiz, in fact, I will probably be the worst if you decide to read my bog. I will put semi-colons where there is suppose to be a comma, I will put comas where there isn't suppose to be any punctuation at all. I will misspell words, even with spell check, and I will forget to add hyphens in-between words. But the feeling will be here, the experiences, and the movements and truths will be here.

I chose the name "From Servant to Son, Orphan to Heir" from a book called Compelled by Love by a powerful missionary in Africa,Asia, and Europe named Heidi Baker. You see, we are all called to be beautiful,gracious, loving, forgiving sons and daughters of God. I am a daughter of course, but son flowed better with the servant. haha Anyways, once we reach that place in our lives where we know whatever circumstance we face, we face it with our ALWAYS dependable God, who knows how everything works and how everything can be changed, life is so simple. Life does not revolve around those around us or our material possessions. Because all those things can be taken away in an instant, which I have become VERY familiar with,haha. But, once things are ripped out of our life or stolen, you come to realize how attached you can become to a grandmother's necklace, or a computer,or a person. When, in reality nobody could ever steal a memory you may have of that grandmother or father or friend. Everything will be restored back to you whether it be rest, health, emotions, friends, possessions, or faith EVERYTHING will be restored little by little. Once He knows he can trust us with the little things the big blessings will come. Patience and faith is key when waiting on the Glory of God to arrive. Whatever situation may be at hand, God is there.He is there to listen to you, to love you, and to provide for you. No situation is too complicated for Him.So trust.