Our Father knows when we will breathe our last. He knows our hearts,our desires, and our weaknesses. He knows what still lays on the line and what needs to be accomplished spiritually before our time comes. He will reach out to us with the urgency of preparation. It is just a matter of who is listening, a matter of how long it takes to hear.
For my Uncle Charlie, it took his whole life to be able to listen. He knew and he heard, but never quite listened to that which he was hearing. But, just a few months before his death (or should I said his rebirth into life in its most extravagant form), on April10,2011, he actually heard AND listened. He was faced with a situation that reminded him of how he had lived his life and the hurt others may have felt because of it. He was able to come to grips with his walk with God and smooth out all the imperfections. Looking at his life, he gave all his failures to God. He picked up this newly found love given to him by our Savior and he ran with it.
We all prayed for healing in his body. Even someone on life support can be healed with one word from our Fathers mouth. If my uncle was suppose to be healed, he would have been. No doubt about it. We experienced another family losing their loved one as we waiting in the CCU waiting room. The first thing we expressed to them was love. Without words, we simply loved. We hugged and we cried with the hurting. Sometimes all we need is that kind of love. Not a love that looks at you for what you have done or who you are. But Gods kind of love that looks at who you CAN be. He sees the potential in all of us and will not stop loving.
In the midst of this incredibly hard time God has reached out with that love. In fact I feel as though he has used this hard time and strengthened me. Do I feel as though that place in my heart that my uncle CHarlie held has been filled? No. He was a father to me. But, I do know that with time, all things will heal. God has blessed me with the most amazing family and friends. I am at a lost for words when it comes to expressing my thanks for all the thoughtfulness that has been shown.
Experiencing the death of a loved one could be one of the hardest realities I have ever had to face. Not only did my Uncle have his heart attack that Wed., but I also found myself hurrying down the stairs at our school to help with providing aid to the wounded. Im sure I am not the only one who can say they never thought they would be placed in a situation as this. Placed. I feel as though God had me at school as the shooting took place. Not only was I able to provide aid to the wounded, but I was able to see how strong one can be with the help of the Lord. Was it hard looking into the eyes of a woman and seeing lifelessness? Yes. Extremely.
I feel as though I have been surrounded with death these last few weeks. And, in a sense I have been. But, I learned that no matter the situation, God is right there. In the midst of brokenness, HE is whole. In the midst of sadness, HE is joy. In the midst of exhaustion, HE is the energy we need. He is everything we need to be completed and brought into perfection; and, it is NEVER to late to achieve it. Just as my uncle did 2 months before his passing, we too can achieve that which we have longed for our entire life.
I say all that to say this, life is incredibly short. God's word and the love of our Savior is way too extravagant to be keep to ourself. People around us are dying everyday. Evaluate your life and who you are and who you can be. Dont look at yourself in shame for all you've done. Look at yourself the way God looks at you. Spread the word. Share the love.
My uncles last note he wrote in his Bible was as follows," Constant prayer,keep praying until answer comes. The proud shall be humbled and the humbled shall be proud."
